Love songs doesn't last.

Really feel like blogging today at this time. I can't get to sleep. Nights like this just makes me think a lot.

When things are down, everything goes down together. In every aspect, it's just goes all the way down. Really cannot imagine how typical it can be. Families can just get into quarrels and fights just because of money. People just judge you. People just out to lie to you. Been long I feel like this. Like really down but know what I'm doing.

There are really times I wish to move out of my place cause I'm really feeling upset and stuff like that. I wanna just stop thinking of everything and just move out. But I just can't bear to leave my grandparents alone. It's really hard. The whole family. As well as when we're with our relatives, everything can just fall apart. I guess this is how vulnerable things are.

Just when that happens, I got to find out about some facts that I've always been kept in the dark. How do you expect me to even trust? When I believe that there's someone there for me, I was wrong. Totally wrong. They're just the same. It's time I put a stop. Because they all the same type of people. They all lied.

Everywhere you go, people just judge you. Even if you did nothing, they judge. When you do something, yet also judge. This is how tough life is. Life will never ever be perfect without any problems. So looks like we've got to just protect ourselves, suck it up and move on.



Well. I think I may post again tomorrow. For now, I just wanna take a break of my own and relax myself to bed. Goodnight people!

Woke up just because of electives selection.
The system's really lagging so much! Oh gosh.
Well, felt like posting!

Many things happened throughout the past few days which made me realise who can be trusted and who cannot be. It's like. A sentence, a word or an action can just allow two person to fall out just like that. It's totally ridiculous! Knowing the consequences and still doing so. That's even worse isn't it? I'm feeling so unfair for them.

Oh, & yesterday was CCN. Really happy cause there's sales and that we didn't make a loss. That's really really good and it's a very happy thing. So proud of the IG. :D Well done babes and hunks! Hehe, & received flowers yesterday. Thanks to people who knows that I like flowers! :')

Alrighttt, AM project is like due on Monday and I haven't even do anything about it. Gosh, time to rush it all out this weekend. Gonna work hard! Going for field trip later and Singapore Arts Festival tonight. Hope to be home early. I'm really tired after yesterdayyy.

...

Try reviving.

Hasn't been posting for quite a long time. Blog seems kind of dead. Okay, I mean it's dead.
Well, weeks have passed. Overall freshmen orientation is over. Now, it's time for the LRM freshmen orientation that is approaching on coming Friday. This week's gonna be packed and I'll be having the total busy status.

A rainy sunday to end off the week. Having some mood swings today. This is bad. Haven't been doing anything much this weekend. Airport on a Friday night and ended up being so tired the next dayyy. Went out to have dinner with cousin as well as Jacqueline last night instead of going for the wedding dinner. Spent like 140$ plus on a dinner. Had like a few dishes in Watami and hopped to another restaurant for Ramen and gyoza. Really really full. We were suppose to be enjoying dinner and yet ended up suffering cause we ate too much. What an irony. As for today. Was planning to go out. BUT. It rained. Totally killed my plan. This is really really sad. & there's school tomorrow. I kind of start to dislike school now. & it's another bad bad thing. So stressful! I don't mind lectures. But tutorials are really really boring. Can totally make me fall asleep. Sigh.

Shall not say much today first. :)
Bye blog!

Numix Chae Chalaga Chae Chae Chae Chalaga!

Just came back from class chalet as well as an awesome SL camp! :) Been kind of busy for the past 2 weeks. Well, main events were that I was in hospital, I went Malaysia, I went SL camp & I went class chalet! :) So, let's talk about the happy ones! :)

SL CAMP
WE ARE A TEAM. <3
NUMIX CHAE CHALAGA CHAE CHAE CHAE CHALAGA EH, BAMARATATATA TATATATATA, EH, BAMARATATATA TATATATATA OMG.
Haha, I really had a good time in the camp, easpecially with my most beloved empire, NUMIX.
So, day1, we had like dirty games where all of us rolled in sesame oil, flour etc. Overall, it was dirty and we managed to survive through that! :) AS ANANANANANNNNNEMPIRE. :D I am very sure the first day was one of the most tiring day of the camp!
Day2, we went out of school to get breakfast and learnt cheers and also had battle of the sexes at night. I think if nobody remind me of the cheers, I would have forgotten it like totally. Omg. Haha, now I can remember all the cheers!
Day3, we went out of school for games and then came back to TP for wet games! & that was really perfect with that HOT weather! HAHAHA. Iloveit. :) & the day goes on...
When the camp ends, few of us went to CPF building to have 'dinner' and sat down fr a chat before heading home. :)
I'll never forget the happy and wonderful times I've had with them... NUMIX!
BABABA
NANANA
BABABABABANANA
BABABABABANANA
NUMIX OOOOOOHHH~

1K02 2012 CLASS CHALET
AMANDA.YUNYUE.CHRIS.ZHIHAO.CHERYL.MARGARET.JONATHAN.JACK.SHUWEN.VANESSA.MICHELLE.JESLYN.HWEECHENG.CASEBELLA.CHLOE.HIDAYAH.STEPHY.XUANYUN<3

I'm really happy to be with them for Sem1.1&1.2. They're really nice people who cares and shares no matter what happens. To be honest, our class is really somehow bonded. :) Although there are cliques all around which is normal, we still care for everyone in the class.
So, met KahYong (our SL in week 0) at around 2plus and headed for the class chalet at NSRCC. OHYEAH. & Mr Gevin Png came! He's so nice! Awww.. :) After which later in the night, we played mahjong. & my face was so red like a tomato. So awkward~ Those that played mahjong with me would know what happened. HAHAHA. Left the chalet at around 9plus in the night. I really really love 1K02'AY11/12. Let's hope we'll have a chance to have class outing and stuff soon again! <3

& of course, I'm getting all nervous and scared for the new class we'll all be having in Sem2.1. Well, I wish everyone all the best alright! :)

Busy busy week!

OKAY. I promise to post tomorrow about this busy week! :)
Goodnight people!!!

I'm really tired these days, so I shall post maybe tomorrow or so. :)
Goodnight people!

Running Man.

Same routine for yesterday and today! To watch running man! :) it was really funny. Didn't regret watching it. :) Well, has been kind of busy because of running man these 2 days.
Met Bernard for lunch today though. & we went to book court for next week! Been long since the last time we meet up! & we've realized that each other changed so much! We're like becoming the same type of people with very little emotions. I hope he don't get influence by me though! Cause it's definitely not a good thing~

Kay, it's time for bed! Goodnight people! :)

Hotel Stay & Today.

Came back from hotel stay today. Yesterday, met the girls at about 10am in the morning and headed to Sentosa for frisbee and volleyball. It was so tiring and all of us were like 'dead' when we went to check in at the hotel at 2plus. The hotel that we stayed in is the Festive Hotel. After checking in, we were super excited to see the swimming pool and went straight to swim in our teeshirts and fbts/shorts. We were like all hiding from the guards because we wasn't in our swimming costumes. Did a lot of ridiculous stunts!After that, we went back to the room to bathe and headed to HardRock cafe for dinner. & after dinner, we bought ice cream! YUMMY MUCH. :) Headed back to the hotel room again later on and started chit-chatting and played indian poker. The marshmallows being stuffed into our mouths is really no joke. It's so disgusting. Imagine stuffing 5-6 marshmallows into the mouth at one go. Eww. Plus when our mouths wasn't big enough, it was even more ridiculous! The next and the last thing we did before heading to bed was our masks! The masks was sooo cold that we took such a long time to apply it! Afterwhich, all of us went to bed. It was really a tiring day! :x Woke up today morning and bathed and then left the hotel. Enjoyed myself with the girls though again, I wasn't very sociable. :) But thank them for being so understanding! :)
*The pictures are all not uploaded yet! ;)

& today,

I don't know why but I just totally didn't feel like talking much anymore. It feels horrible when I need someone there but I just didn't wanna talk. Thinking of all the things I did and stuff, I feel so stupid. Goddamnit. End of the day, instead of talking, I cried myself to sleep. & I realise that is my only way out. It doesn't feel good to be feeling so alone though. But it's really time I've got to be strong and to lead my own path and go the way I wanna go. & that is why the only thing I did for some stuff is to just keep it deep down inside me. It's not easy but I guess I'll have to hang in there cause it's really hard for me to trust anyone now. Somethings are better to be left unsaid. Nobody will ever understand unless they go through it themselves and that is why saying it out doesn't helps either. & all these things really forced me to be someone I'll never wanna be. But, what's done is done. I'll never be able to forget those hurtful things.

We, choose our own path and survive our own way.

Sorry that I really don't know how to make myself more sociable.

Beloved Lucky & Cash.

Was on the way to meet the girls just now when I received a call from my grandparents knowing what they did. & tears came out from me immediately. Sometimes, I really don't understand why they are even doing this. What's so good about taking away something that means so much to me? & especially when they know that that is the very last thing my dad left for me. No longer the first time. Had a heated arguement with them before and they promised not to do that anymore but they actually let history repeats itself again. Claiming that I mean a lot to them and this is how they are hurting me in return. I'm really really speechless now. Feeling very very down. All my good times, they're all gone. Even the last and most precious thing that used to be by my side everyday, sitting quietly by my side when I cry, playing with me and cheering me up when I'm upset is gone as well. What else do I have left? Now I'll need a real long time to heal. & don't expect me to trust anymore. Because I don't wanna get hurt again. I'm becoming more and more dreadful of the things and people.

Talked and chatted when we met up. Although it was a short meet up, it was precious time as well. Love them. <3

Was too tired to post yesterday~
Well, it feels good to jog for long when you're feeling down, it applies to me. Went jogging in the morning yesterday after that rest and have lunch with grandma. Met up with Jeslyn around 6plus in the evening and cab to Suntec City. They have this educational/employment fair thingy. It's quite helpful. Those that are interested, you should really go. :)

Went to view some schools that is from overseas. Their courses are real attractive! Never regret going! :) It was really cool! Headed for dinner at Yoshinoya after that! ;) HMV of course! & then off we headed home!

& this is the picture of the cross stitch that took me about 7months plus!
May every family live in bliss. :)

That's all for now, gonna go prepare and head out soon! :)

Sometimes, I hope there'll be this one day, I'll be someone important.

家和万事心

After 7 months of doing this consistently, finally I'm done with it. :) Shall upload the photo tomorrow! I'm too lazy to on the com today!
家和万事心, something that I've always wanted. I used to spend more time with my friends. But as I grow older, I realize my family means so much to me. Especially ever since losing the person so close to me.
Daddy, I promise I'll stay strong.

Had a long day today. Have to give my doggy away soon. It's making me so sad. But I don't have a choice. Come to think of it. Life really gives us so much pain to experience. Well, but people always says there'll be rainbow after the rain. & that's what keeps me going!

I hope this can last me through, everyday.
Going to take this holiday to really relax myself and try to forget those unhappy things and to move on. Hang in there Suzann! :)

ISMELLFREEDOM.

Finally, today marks the end of our marketing paper. & I finally smell freedom ahead. But come to think of it, it seems so boring now. Isn't it? Ugh. What I'm feeling now is sooo. Unexplainable. HAHA. I'm feeling so tired now & my gastric's acting up. Can't wait to go to bed soon. But. I just couldn't get to sleep. This is really weird! :<

Well, today went to Popeyes with the girls for lunch after our marketing. It feels great being able to have lunch with them. :) Been long since I've really joined them for lunch and all. & we came up with some 'little miss' things! Each of us have a name starting with 'Miss' blahblahblah. HAHAHA. <3

Chloe & Casebella had to go off early. & so the rest of us went to shop and we took kinda like a few hours! ;) Nevertheless, I had an awesome time with them. :) Headed home after that and bought my yoga mat on the way home! & I bought the green one, the exact same one I used to have! Like finally I bought it! Was so lazy to even go get it for the past few months. The old one was spoilt thanks to my previous dog. HAHA. Okay, time to go to bed soon.

ANYWAY, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HOTEL STAY ON 5TH! <3!

Really hope it'll be ongoing.

Really hope it's not done with a fake hidden.

& we started talking again.

He just gives me that feel that I'll never wanna forget.

Experiences.

Slacked on my bed for 2 hours before I finally got up. Went back to school & met Stephy. Checked our commskills results and do treatment for our hair at a salon and then headed to Tam mall. Had subway for lunch & went to shop. Slacked at starbucks after shopping and chit-chatted. Headed home after that.



The world's so realistic.
However, experiences from what we viewed in the outside world makes us stronger and grow up learning more and more everyday.
But that is also the reason why people build up walls, causing isolation.
Time to wake up and protect myself!

All the best for marketing tmr, LRMians! (:
Goodnight! <3

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. <3

Unspoken words

Finally done with POM today. Last paper to go before it's officially holidays! Just a little bit more to go. Today's paper was kind of tough. Couldn't find the reason why, but I felt as if my heart and soul was totally not with me during the paper. &somehow I didn't even know what I'm writing. Really had a hard time, but screw it, it's over.

Went out for lunch after POM with classmates. Miss those moments we had as a class during lectures and tutorials. Headed home after lunch and realised I had fever after taking my temperature. That explains my headache and giddiness for the whole morning. Took a nap in the afternoon & that's how I spent my precious afternoon. ):

So much to say, so many words left unsaid. Somehow I'm feeling really tired. Mentally tired. I just want time to fly really fast. I used to stand firm refusing to leave Singapore. But every now and then, I start to think about how life would be if I really leave. Would it be better?

Lost my sense of direction, lost my source of motivation. Just how long can a person be true to you.

NOTHING.

Really had a super hard time today. All thanks to FNB which I think I've failed badly. Had to head for dance after exams and study POM on the same day. I'm tired. All the more when I really cannot take it anymore. Together with PMS, it's even worse. Whatever I studied can't seem to be registered properly. So my achievement today can be called 'nothing'. Well, gotta hang in there for POM & Marketing! Hwaiting! (:

Unproductive Studying.

HAPPYBIRTHDAYTOMECOUSINTODAY

But I can't be there thanks to having paper tomorrow.

Woke up kinda later than any other days today, having cramps like nobody's business. Ugh!
Went to the doctors', had lunch nearby the clinic and headed home.

& of course, started reading and 'studying' FNB. Bloody hell, it's seriously the worst subjct ever man. With so much things to memorize and so many examples to take note! Totally killing my pathetic brain cells. Read through, wrote notes and yet, still forgetting every single thing. Information overload man. My brain needs a break. But tomorrow's the paper. Sighsighsighsighsigh. Fancy studying with cramps and fever at the same time. Seriously, good luck to myself. ):

Gonna continue with FNB~

Don't let it slip away.

Suddenly realise it's been long since I last posted. I'm trying hard, really hard. but some pain just can't be forgotten. No matter how hard I try. What's worse is when I'm gonna have FNB exams on Monday. Ohmygoodness. It's all about food! ~ & it's driving me crazy soon! Information overload! Especially the escargot. It's EEEEEW. Supposingly going to Jurong Bird Park later on to celebrate one of my cousin's birthday. BUT. All thanks to FNB! I'm gonna be the one and only not going.. ): Sigh. Hang in there Suzann! & I really have to go to bed now. I'm thinking far too much!!! Goodnight peeps! (:

HAPPYVALENTINES' <3

I am really upset today. Sometimes, I really feel tired hiding everything to myself. But I just have no choice. I hope things will get better everyday and I'll be able to forget all my unhappiness SOON.

I've totally forgotten about all my trip and stuff. Went ShangHai and kinda had fun. But at the same time, many unhappy things happened. Was supposed to go over to live with my Aunt and never to come back anymore. But in the end, after much consideration and hesitation, I came back. I'm happy, but. Well, many feelings are left unsaid. ~ Worst thing I had in the trip was to visit the hospital in Shanghai because of my gall bladder. ): I'm glad it's fine now though. (:

Market Trip!

Supposed to go for market trip but in the end Shu Wen and I both woke up late so we went to Nex instead. (: & in the end, right after taking down the information that we need, we headed to Yoshinoya for dinner and started camwhoring. Omg. Hehehe. That was because we were really too boreddd!

Happy New Year Everyone! :D